Thursday, December 20, 2012

Child Abuse Survivor Stories Can Be Horrific

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By Sharlene Fleming

Now the public is hearing the many child abuse survivor stories there are to tell. Innocent children are no longer expected to remain quiet while the victimization continues. This was not the case with victims not all that long ago.

One of the most common threads is the self shame that these people share. Even into adulthood many will speak of feeling that they deserved the punishment. Something they did had to have been very wrong or these acts would not have been performed. As much as they despise the abuse, they continually try to make up for whatever wrong they did and get their abusers to love them.

Not all mistreatment is done by sexual or physical means. Many children receive no bruises whatsoever. Yet they are as distraught and victimized as others with horror stories to tell. They receive so much emotional degradation that they begin believing they are useless and no good. Again they will persistently work at 'making themselves better' so the torment will stop.

Another common trait among abused children is that the perpetrator is most often a family member or a close and trusted friend. It could be a parent; a relative; a pastor or priest, or a person that has been a family friend for years. Victims do not know who to tell due to shame or graphic threats against them or a loved one.

A person can be a highly respected member of the community. They may be married with children and be a model parent. These perpetrators take their deeds away from home to keep their reputation from being tarnished. They use the internet as a means of weaving their deceit and luring children to them. Parents are urged to keep a close watch on the people their child talks with. Despite any rules you have set, these men and women are experts in what they do.

Boys are not immune to the vile practices of the child abuser. The latest reports on the misconduct of clergy testifies to that. Men who feared speaking up are still coming forth to say they had been victimized. All that can be said for sure is that these actions have been going on for years and years.

If adults do nothing else, they must listen and learn from the young victim. Much can be done to help people in recognizing that something is not right. Begin at an early age to tell your child what improper behavior is, and that they must tell someone right away if it happens. Rarely do these children lie.

It is crucial to the proper development of any child that parents and other close family members are constantly on the look out for what may be indications that something is remiss. Sex and physical offenders are people that are suffering their own psychological disorders and they need to be stopped before any further harm is done. Children will shy away from their offenders out of fear and that fear should be obvious to the onlooker. Always give your child permission to relate any child abuse survivor stories they may have to tell.

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